The End.

Here goes giving this blog thing a shot! This is the first piece I wrote about two years ago that has since inspired me to keep putting my thoughts, feelings and weird stories down on paper. A lot has changed since I wrote this but it still is deeply part of who I am today. Enjoy 🙂

This story starts at the end.  The end of a relationship, a life and future fully planned out, the end of a deep friendship.  This is the bitter end that everyone keeps trying to convince you is a sweet beginning.  Usually I am more sarcastic and judgmental than deep and reflective but to understand where I am at this is the story that needs to be told.  

Here’s a bit of background information for you.  Boy met girl.  Boy and girl were young and fearless and fun and didn’t mean to but somehow fell in love and fast.  Boy went away.  Girl waited for boy.  Boy and girl defied all odds for years and years, odds they shouldn’t have beat, and yet they kept coming out stronger.  Boy and girl had adventures and laughs and ups and downs and became, more than anything, best friends, all while living across the country from eachother.  Boy and girl talk about getting married, having kids, growing old together.  Everything is happy.  Boy gets news that the distance is almost over, the distance is almost over.  Girl gets a message from another girl she doesn’t know.  Girl confronts boy, boy lies.  Girl gets more messages.  Boy admits the truth and is never to be heard from again.  Girl is still in love with a person she thought she knew.  

I sat there reading the messages over and over thinking this had to be some sort of sick joke.   Double and triple and quadruple texting desperately searching for an answer that I now know will never come.  Not a single person who knew us saw this coming, especially not me. The cheating is not what hurt the most.  What’s worse is sitting there thinking back on the last five years wondering what is real and what is fake and what you even know anymore because the person who was like another arm or a leg is actually not someone you know at all.  It was like standing on a beach alone waiting for the tide to come in and take me away, the other shoe to drop, the sun to set and rise again with some sort of clarity or at least explanation.  But the waves keep rolling in and the sun sets and rises and nothing ever comes.  The world doesn’t stop.  Everyone and everything keeps moving like the past five years were just a blip in time and you learn that to survive you must move forward with them even when you want to cling to the past and never let go.

Now I am 23, living with my parents in my tiny home town, and figuring out what to do next.  Everything I was sure of had been ripped away from me in a matter of seconds and my slate has literally been wiped clean.  The farthest plan I have is what I am going to each for lunch tomorrow.  I have an entire question mark on my future and that is terrifying but I’m learning it is also oddly satisfying.  Who knows who I will meet, the friends I will make, the places I will go and the things I will do.  I know I will eventually figure it all out after many trials and errors, but when I do make it and I am successful and so utterly happy I know that I will thank that asshole for walking out of my life because I was too damn good for him anyways.